Then she asked me what I thought about death.
Embarrassed that I have never even ever really thought about it, but still hoping to impress her, I found my brain trying to keep up with my mouth.
“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m a religious person so the thought of an afterlife where you float on clouds, play harps and try to figure out what to do for the rest of eternity, just seems kind of strange I guess.”
I was sounding way to bitter about it. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that women don’t respond well to negativity. So I had to turn it around.
“Not to say I don’t believe in a God. But. I believe in a very different kind of god. Not one that is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-everything. Nothing quite some omnipotent. My god does not even exist in a singular form, I don’t even know if god is the right word.”
Where the hell was I going with this?
“Force. Force, I think that’s more the right word. Have you ever been walking along, and felt the wind brush your hair, then see a limb of a tree wave in the same wind and felt that the wind was something more than just wind? That’s what I’m talking about. It’s the force that exists in the wind, in the limb of the tree, in the tree, in your hair on your head and in you. It’s one with everything.”
God, I really wanted to be one with her.
“When I die, my body will start to change. Decompose. This will be the Force, or Soul, or Spirit, or God, inside of me bleeding out. This is why the body dies I think.”
This was getting too morbid. Fuck.
“But that’s just a natural part of everything. My Force, or whatever, is just returning to the Earth, to become a part of everything again. A part of the wind, the waving limb of the tree, the entire tree and the electric hair on a young girls head. A part of everything, like we are now. That’s kind of how I think about death.”
What? What the hell was that? It sounded good. This had to be getting me something.
Then she said, “That’s a nice thought. I have never even ever really thought about it.” And, “I’m really sorry about the loss of your wife.”
